RT @TeamCoco: "I'm an impossible square." - @ConanOBrien shocks @RobLowe on a new episode of "Literally!" Watch part of their conversation @ https://t.co/OpgakkrkbV. https://t.co/U4RJWfDhkN

My first electric guitar! #TBT https://t.co/mG0j5HfKiL

Just went to the doctor, my BMI is 40% ice cream.

Hear @tomhanks and I discuss his new movie @GreyhoundMovie, SNL memories, and our squeaky voices @ https://t.co/pfOk236hQr https://t.co/terxMZBSDH

I did it. I left my house. My first show from @LargoLosAngeles premieres tonight with guest Will Ferrell. https://t.co/CVJpPtmgnF #SaveOurStages

Looks like I trained for the 2020 running of the bulls for nothing.

With churches still closed I’m forced to sneak glances at my watch at home.

Just now remembering I left a tuna fish sandwich on my desk back in March.

Not sure I like the revised MLB rules for this shortened season: first bunt wins? Odd.

I'm going to be checking out @TheOutpostMovie today — very true and harrowing story of an intense battle in the Afghanistan War. I also plan to floss, but no one cares about that.

I am thrilled I'm moving my show to @LargoLosAngeles next week. My family is more thrilled. https://t.co/4bAK5y3fwo

This new book about Trump is sure to be his downfall.

We gave Canadians a little something special for this year’s Canada Day—no Americans!

https://t.co/LeQJAcpf7M

This year marks the 100th anniversary of the Negro Leagues. In honor of this milestone, I'm tipping my cap to honor those who played and helped build the foundation for the civil rights movement. #TipYourCap2020 https://t.co/64JgI2zHmt

When I was younger I used to learn a new word and then find ways to awkwardly shoehorn it into conversation. Talk about a classic bildungsroman.

They say muscle weighs more than fat. During the pandemic I’ve gained 9 biceps.

Billboard just announced the song of the summer. It’s the sound of your spouse chewing.

Consider donating to @ChildrensLA's COVID-19 Emergency Response Fund to help meet the needs of patients, families, and caregivers during this unprecedented time. https://t.co/1CuMh6Pruu

If you're missing the sensation of shaking a good friend's hand, I've found that a 4-day-old mango has a pretty similar feel.